I’ve read this thread with a lot of sadness. What is apparent is that there are a lot of wounded folks out there.
Your advice about when to run away is spot on. The couples I know that have good marriages that have lasted 25-30 years are the ones where they continue to display affection— like kissing each other good bye and hello each day. And that is normally done whether others are present or not. It’s the small kindnesses that are so important.
I have to wonder, though, if some of the tragedies discussed on this thread could—and maybe should— have been avoided before marriage was even considered. Courtship, in the traditional sense, should serve as a screening process.
I think one of the biggest problems today is that too many people get too physically involved too early in the courtship process. Sex is a very powerful experience, but it can sometimes cloud one’s judgment.
Trust me when I tell you that there are still wonderful, kind women in this country. It’s up to you to find them.
We have never separated, never fought and rarely disagreed . He is the most important person in my life and I in his.
Like telling your future husband that you'd been sexually molested for almost five years by a family member, that would've been helpful.
So when a marriage starts on a LIE, sooner or later it's destined to come out, and that marriage is destined to fail.
Period.
Agree that there are some wonderful and kind women out there. One was a previous fiancee I had many years ago.
My last experience with romance however is what caused the decision to follow the MGTOW way. I was totally caught up with her, even got to know her children well and they seemed accepting of our relationship. Then I found out she was seeing someone else and showed her the proof. We fought, of course (verbally).
After that, I was on a long downward spiral. Quit working, rarely ate, slept a lot. Hugely depressed, I became a major alcoholic and have the liver damage to prove it. It took a long time to recover from that, but now I am no longer interested in marriage and I have found that constantly meeting new girls and spending time as I wish has brought about a contentment of sorts that I never would have expected.
I see who I want when I want with no expectations given either way, and now just have fun with women. Many smiles and good times, and I feel no need to press for more than that. Not such a bad lifestyle after all.