Dude, after being with someone for 36 years, the person is who they are. Nothing is going to change. You need to make a call. Either (A) you accept the situation as is and live with it until you die. Or (B) bail and start your life over. You’re in your early 50’s and you’ve got money from what you’re telling me. That is a recipe for a smoking hot trophy wife in their 20s-30s.
You’re in a much better situation than what you think.
Tempting, but not interested in the trophy wife. Honestly, want someone who's comfortable in their own skin and shows some affection. We men are pretty simple: feed us, show us some affection and every once in awhile be enthusiastic about sex with us and we're happy. Simple beings we are.