Years back, when drug testing first appeared, as a contract programmer, my policy was “If you don’t trust me, don’t hire me.”
For those who insisted on a test, I replied that since my reputation was at stake, if they would accept the liability in case of a false positive, I would take the test.
You could almost sense the color draining from their face. A couple of outfits, like Compaq, never replied, but at that time American contractors were still being hired, so it was their loss, not mine.
After I retired, I took a beer-money job at Wal-Mart, who also demanded a drug test. I was about to go into my canned response, when they said that if I failed, they would do another in case of that false positive. Fair enough, took it and passed, no problem.
[Sidebar I]I found it interesting that when I talked with the lab tech about ways people tried to fool ‘em, she said that she watched how I walked to the bathroom - some idiots tried holding a sample from a drug-free friend under their armpit to keep it warm and walked like Jerry Lewis.
[Sidebar II] My son worked for a railroad in Alabama for a while, and they occasionally held surprise tests (naturally everybody knew when that would happen). A guy he knew smoked pot and knew he would fail, so he had his girlfriend do a sample for him, which he submitted.
Later he got called in the office for some good news/bad news. The good news was that he was pregnant, the bad news was that he was fired.
I occasionally smoke pot.
I got a new job, and did that exact thing with the urine in my armpit, except it made me hold my arm in an odd manner so I taped it to my groin.
God punished me when ripping all that duct tape off my groin at the end. I thought I had shaved it pretty clean; I was wrong!