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My youngest son just turned 14, and has been acting like a typical teenager, working overtime to send his mother and me to an early grave.

This year has been a disaster on the academic front. I warn parents with middle schoolers, do not buy into the latest scheme known as "blended learning". Only a select few have the motivation and discipline to thrive in such an independent environment.

He's done well in other pursuits, such as making first chair trumpet in Honor Winds, but even that's been a struggle. My wife doesn't seem to understand that he's displaying the stubborn streak that comes from her side of the family. My mom and stepdad weren't helicopter parents, and left me alone as long as my grades were ok.

Sorry for the rant, but last night was a bad scene with son and mom. I back my wife, of course, but she is never content to make her points and move on. She's done it with me, driving a point over and over again, never content to end without several belittling comments that she thinks proves her point.

I'll have a(nother) conversation with him after school today. Something's going to have to give, and it won't be academics or band. Athletics or scouts, one or both, are candidates for the chopping block. I need to make it that it's inevitably his choice not mine.

May I ask for a description of blended learning? I’ve never heard of it, and how it negatively affects students. I ask with respect and out of curiosity!

When I homeschooling my son in middle school, I used Saxon math. No calculators ever! And I instructed him to do as many of the problems in his head as he could. We are teaching our kids to always rely on paper, calculators, etc. I wanted him to use his noggin first.

In high school I worked at an ice cream shop. My boss would not let us use the register to determine change. It was the best thing that miserable jerk taught us.

She’s done it with me, driving a point over and over again, never content to end without several belittling comments that she thinks proves her point

Like some FReepers ;)/s

Advice to give your wife (someone I worked with gave it to me personally, and while I don't always follow it, I try!): always leave people with an out. Don't keep driving your point home - stop after making it once. Or as I do, 2 or 3 times. Giving people the 'out' allows them to consider your opinion and not rebel mindlessly about it.

It's tough - I get where your wife is coming from.

“My youngest son just turned 14, and has been acting like a typical teenager, working overtime to send his mother and me to an early grave. “

—

I had a son like that.

It was incredible but we rode it out.

He’s 50 years old now-———doing just fine and well educated. A very well read, smart guy.