Pediatricians are worth exactly nothing. I sometimes want to establish some sort of “parental help” thing. Where people can come together and help other parents.
We are not around our parents, and we aren’t our friends either. We moved from a communist state and no one visits us. I hate her mother, she hates mine. So it’s “just us”.
I didn’t read you whole post before commenting. Seriously your case is much more extreme than mine. But, that said, my kids kept me up many a night.
There may be a parental support group for parents with children who have extreme sleep difficulties. Do you live near a college or university with a medical center? Get in touch with their neurology department to ask about sleep studies for toddlers. Even if they do not have such studies they may be able to put you in touch with a specialist and parental support groups.