"Welcome to 'Celebrity Apprentice: Vice-President Edition'! Contestants, ONE of you will have the privilege of being my Vice-Presidential choice! You will get to shine my shoes, fetch my coffee, and learn the secrets of my great success! Lucky you! But the rest of you--oh, the rest of you will be exposed as the LOSERS you are! That I can tell you! So now let me introduce my contestants to my massive audience! Tonight we have the following applicants: Oprah Winfrey . . . Vince McMahon . . . Kim Kardashian . . . nice ass, Kim . . . and Jesse Ventura. . . ."