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To: Cincinatus' Wife

“Republican primary front-runner Donald Trump late Wednesday pinned blame for his scriptural gaffe - saying “Two Corinthians” instead of “Second Corinthians” - on evangelical activist Tony Perkins.”

When some scandal hits (and they always do), President Trump will say that he knew nothing about it until he saw it talked about on the Sunday shows...here is President Trump addressing the media...

“It’s a shame what happened to all those poor people living along the Keystone pipeline...I’ve got the Marines dropping off palettes of bottled water for these folks...my heart goes out to them...on their behalf, I hit my knees before bed last night and I read some 2 Corinthians from my personal family bible...you know I’m Presbyterian, most people are surprised, but, I’m a Big Presbyterian!

How did I hear about this crisis? Well, it was Sunday morning...Melania and I were in our silk jammies gnoshing on some fresh NY bagels and lox...BTW, Brooklyn bagel and lox are the best in the world, the Best!...when I’m listening to Chuck Todd and I hear this story about the Keystone pipeline leaking all over the place...I called Sarah on my new fancy top-secret secure iPhone, but she was up in Alaska with Todd competing in a snow-shoe race. So, I don’t know all the details right now, but I’m thinking the problem is the quality of the Chinese steel used to make the pipes...I negotiated a great price, a great price, a fantastic price with President Hu; you know, I have great respect for the Chinese and have a wonderful relationship with President Hu; I was talking to Hu about a beautiful new Trump hotel in Beijing right before the election...this is going to be the biggest and most luxurious resort that Trump has ever built; of course my kids are handling this now...but, I do know Hu very well and he’s a great guy, a great guy!

Anyway, I personally negotiated the Keystone steel pipes with President Hu and he gave us the steel pipes for free in exchange for a reduced tariff of 44%...boy, don’t tell anyone, but I really schlonged Hu on that deal...that’s because I’m smart, you know I went to an Ivy League school, Wharton...the Best, the Best!

It’s OK, we’ll get in contact with Sarah and get this pipe thing fixed....Sarah and I will be flying into Oklahoma next week to observe the environmental damages...God, the people of Oklahoma are the best. You know, my job approval rating is still very high, higher than any other former President...that’s what I’m told. We’re doing very well, very well!


64 posted on 01/21/2016 5:55:39 AM PST by HoosierWordsmith
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To: HoosierWordsmith

Priceless!

And... “The Iranians let the American hostages go because they’re afraid of me.”


68 posted on 01/21/2016 5:58:35 AM PST by Cincinatus' Wife
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To: HoosierWordsmith

More!

Be prepared to be accused of plagiarism.

You’re good. I am a fan.


110 posted on 01/21/2016 6:54:41 AM PST by don-o
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