Long ago I arrived at peace by realizing that a lot of the questions of destiny and of choice depend on perspectives that humans are not privy to.
We have paradox here, not the contradiction that you are reading into it. We are destined and we have choices. The choice to utterly reject salvation is also possible.
So I can bleed “predestination” and I can bleed “choice” and I can bleed “self consistency” too — because we haven’t nailed down all the variables.
You call it confused. I call it the peace of trusting God to do things God’s way.
I call it faith.