Coach may have picked the wrong year to pull this stunt. They are 1-5 against first string opponents. Last in the SEC east of teams which still have the coach they started the season with.
Au contraire. I think the coach senses that he's in trouble and is latching onto this as insurance against his being fired for poor performance.
If I were the university president, I'd surreptitiously upgrade the surveillance cameras and try to catch the perp(s).
Couldn't they do a DNA analysis on the...um...evidence?