[a fool in paradise]

Tell them you are drunk every time they call up for some history.

Keep them on the phone for 2 hours with tales of your adventures last weekend before getting down to brass tacks on the issue at hand.

[17th Miss Regt]

Or maybe something like this. You got the package and your new job is in a different state. Do they know where you live or how to contact you?

[mylife]

Tell them to go to Hell.