The idea that a government should have the power to say who is married and who isn’t is the fundamental problem here. Government has no business whatsoever being a third party in the relationship between man and wife.
The Government does indeed have a legitimate interest in marriage, and the people have a legitimate interest in having a government that sanctions marriages.
Apart from that, your position sounds like "Czechoslovakia should just let Hitler have that land because they don't really use it for anything," or some such.
You are trying to appease the HomoNazis. No solution that appeases them will work. It merely contributes to the larger problem later.
APPEASEMENT DOESN'T WORK!!!!!
The moment you concede the government has an interest in marriage and can lawfully act on that interest, the nature of marriage is determined by the government - and that is the very basis of the government action which has so many here in a rage. Granting the power to government creates the potential for abuses such as this which would not exist otherwise.
If there’s one mistake which is common to almost everyone in politics today, it’s assuming that giving power to the government will never result in that power being used in a way they do not like, even though it always does, every single time.
Embrace limited government. It’s the conservative thing to do.
The state is involved in marriage licensing for 2 reasons. First, it was established to prevent interracial marriage. Second, it is a source of revenue both before and after the marriage. Divorce is a substantial revenue generator for the state.
There is no legitimate reason for churches to accede to the state’s involvement in the sacrament of marriage. It is a rite of the church, like baptism or communion and is a commitment between a man and a woman committing their marriage to God. Perhaps this is why many couples are living together without a license.