Posted on 07/12/2015 8:27:16 AM PDT by Kaslin
Donald Trump is the GOP's Voldemort, the Dark Lord and villain of the Harry Potter children's book series. To thinking Republicans who don't want to go through another circle of hell like the 2012 presidential primary, Trump is He Who Must Not Be Named. When a partisan mistakenly utters his name, media dementors -- soulless creatures who sail through the airwaves -- pop out from nowhere and suck the oxygen out of the hapless offender. Helpless and filled with dread, some victims die, while others slip into nothingness. The dementors will not relent. They want to turn the primary into a pain-inducing referendum on the Dark Lord.
Mexicans are Trump's muggles -- that's author J.K. Rowling's word for humans with no knack for magic. Trump, 69, rants about Mexicans and undocumented immigrants all the time. When he announced June 16 he was running for president, he called them criminals, drug dealers and rapists.
Just as Voldemort thought he could get some intrepid students at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry to follow him even after he schemed against them, Trump believes he can win over the Latino vote, or so he told NBC.
Voldemort was a birther. He used a slur -- mudbloods -- for wizards and witches born to muggles. Likewise, in 2011, Trump demanded that President Obama produce his birth certificate. Quoth the Donald: "Obama may have one, but there is something on that birth certificate -- maybe religion, maybe it says he's a Muslim, I don't know." Trump's speculation came out of thin air, yet almost as quickly as the "accio" summoning spell, Trump's challenge prompted the White House to produce said document.
Minister of Tragic Reince Priebus has tried to keep peace in the Republican land, but Trump knows how to hex party harmony. Priebus called Trump to ask him to tone down his language about Mexicans and immigrants. Trump flourished his wand and turned the party chief's verbal cuffing into "more of a congratulatory call." Priebus lacks the wandwidth to blast Trump with the Expulso Curse.
In his bid to attain immortality, Trump channeled morsels of his damaged soul into random vessels, called horcruxes. Their names are (ex-wife) Ivana, (ex-wife) Marla, (future ex-wife) Melania and his reality show, "The Apprentice." They share an incantation: "You're fired." As added protection, Trump keeps his fifth horcrux close to him. It is his hair, which glides snakelike alongside Trump wherever the reality TV star slithers.
Like Voldemort, Trump has stumbled in his lifetime. When Voldemort tried to kill a baby Harry Potter, it was Voldemort who had to go -- into hiding, anyway. Trump filed for corporate bankruptcy four times -- in 1991, 1992, 2004 and 2009, but never for personal bankruptcy. Like Voldemort's minions, Trump's investors paid for his sins. Now Trump says he is worth $9 billion.
Since Trump declared his candidacy, his critics have been waging a serious assault on Trump's assets and reputation. The loudmouth rants have cost the billionaire beaucoup bucks. NBC announced it was ending its business relationship with "The Apprentice" star. "Celebrity Apprentice" will continue -- without Trump. The Miss Universe and Miss USA pageants won't be on NBC. Macy's and the PGA followed suit. Like Voldemort down to his last horcrux, Trump is losing his amulets.
There will be a gathering on Aug. 4 as Fox News hosts the first GOP debate of the 2016 campaign. According to the debate rules, the top 10 candidates in the five most recent national polls will face off. Friday's RealClearPolitics average showed Trump in seventh place behind former Florida Gov. Jeb Bush, neurosurgeon Ben Carson, Sen. Marco Rubio of Florida, former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee and Sen. Rand Paul of Kentucky.
Think Hogwarts students and professors facing off against Voldemort and his Death Eaters. Except it isn't really a contest. Donald Trump is no match for the rest of the field.
Cable news has worked to make this primary a battle between a boorish billionaire and candidates who have won elections and want to talk about their ideas. Yet all reporters ask is: What about Trump?
This primary doesn't have to be all about The Donald: There is a way to end the spell. Bush said it Thursday when a reporter asked him twice about Trump: "I'm done."
Conflatulance.
Which is easy to remember for me as it is my birthday
Born June 14, 1946 in Queens, New York, NY (Jus Soli)
Parents were
Frederick Christ Trump, born October 11, 1905 in Queens, NY, died June 1999 in Queens, NY
Mary Ann MacLeod, born May 10, 1912 in SCOTLAND, died August 7, 2000 in Queens, NY. Arrived in US October 5, 1935. Naturalized as a US Citizen March 10, 1942.
Both parents were US Citizens at the time of his birth (Jus Sanguinis)
Donald Trump is a NATURAL BORN CITIZEN
I stopped reading when I realized the whole article was structured around a children’s book....
How are you going to get that leader without voting for Trump??? Or perhaps it's not that big of an issue for you???
That's the way I see it...Trump or Hillary...
BTW My husband met General Patton's Son General George S. Patton IV when he was stationed in Vietnam during 1967-68. Also General Patton's car in which he was injured is in the museum at Fort Knox, KY.
I don't care if he is an ex-convict for armed robbery...I've seen enough vettin'...
Trump may speak the truth but he’s got to be more than a voice but give ‘substance’ to his speeches ahead...if not he’ll just be a voice in the wind as hot air will always cool off in time.
As for comparing Trump in this silly article...it’s just that silly and shows the utter grade school mind of the author.
“Trump may speak the truth but he’s got to be more than a voice but give ‘substance’ to his speeches ahead...if not he’ll just be a voice in the wind as hot air will always cool off in time.”
How would you suggest he do this?
Well you don't take them seriously...what foolishness indeed....
Boo!!!
Yes, it's an embarrassing piece for an adult to write.
I wasn’t referring to Trump but to the lady who was using the Harry Potter references to target the 18-25 crowd.
or this
Trump's life has been an open book ever since he got out of grad school. Gossip columnists have built careers out of poking fun at him.
He may have had three wives but he is a teetotaler and serious about business. As a former New Yorker, I can tell you that he is one of the most vetted people on the planet.
He will need to reveal “How” he plans to do what none have yet to do. “How” he expects to to unite congress behind him etc. It’s not that hard to even touch on the edges without revealing a full plan...but he’s got to do more than just be a cheerleader....
Though Obama didn’t do much more than that....so who really knows how this will play out. The public has shown they can and will vote for whoever tickles their fancy.
-PJ
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