On the strange QWERTY configuration of our keyboards: “I’ll bet it was the solution to an engineering problem of some sort, and it stuck over time.”
On electricity: “You generated lightning with magnets instead of bottling it? Why didn’t I think of that?! At least it was an American who made it practical.”
On being on the $100 bill: “I‘m worth 100 of Washington, 50 of Jefferson and 10 of Hamilton? His Excellency, Thomas and Alec will be green with envy when I tell them!”
On the Internet: “You mean I can display my copy on a – (hesitates to find the words) – desktop, laptop or I-Pad, without the use of printing presses, printer’s devils and lazy apprentices of which I was once one? Good sir, please tell me where I may enroll in a web design class! (Looking around carefully.) And what is this Viagra I’ve been hearing about? Is it true?”
A month later, Ben has his website up and running. It’s called “Poor Richard’s Tattler,” and it competes with Drudge for the juiciest, most salacious gossip in Washington. It’s the “Tattler” that breaks the John Edwards story, not the “National Enquirer.” There is a pay-for-view section called “Ben 24/7" that has updated versions of such classic essays as “On the Wisdom on Taking an Older Woman as a Mistress,” and special high-value items such as “Rielle Hunter’s Sex Tips: How I Made John Edwards Happy.”
A few weeks later, Ben is driving around town in a convertible with a 25 year old super-model at his side, and he has this big old grin on his face.