You came around to your conclusion about same sex parenting in a very fair way and I applaud you for that. You arrived at the same conclusion that I did, but my technique was less generous toward the other side.
I based negative feelings about the issue on my understanding of the human psyche and also my own experience as a child. Although not homosexual in nature, my home life was non traditional and I remember the empty yawning feeling of alone-ness and embarrassment and humiliation and the yearning for a normal family.
I can guarantee that something similar is what your son’s friends are feeling, but they are not allowed to express it in any way. No wonder you are sensing that something is wrong. The children are expected to adapt - or remain silent.
Adults in these situations only consider their own feelings. If they thought at all objectively about the emotional welfare of the transplanted child, they would not insist or bringing a child into a same sex union if another option is available. Nor would they do in vitro, surrogacy or adoption. There can be love, and even bonding, but, like a sapling planted in the wrong kind of soil, it is not enough to overcome the child’s suffering.
It is not too soon to talk to your 9 year old. A decade ago, I would have said wait, but now there is no time. You can present the topic gently and with age appropriate discretion, but you must begin now because he is being subliminally programmed by the outside world. You have got to nudge him in the right direction because he has already been exposed to it and is thinking about it and he needs a template to go by. You must clad him in the armor of what is right before the world can lure him with what is wrong. We started talking to all our kids at about that same age. It seems crazy to discuss homosexuality when they aren’t yet ready for sexuality, but they are getting sexualized by a sick world as soon as they are old enough to see pictures on the TV screen. It is by design and the homosexual community is coming after our kids with more boldness and aggression than ever.
Homosexuality is a personality disorder and an illness of the mind. The proof of this is quite simple. It is not and never has been a part of the beautiful design of the human body. It is an abuse of the body. My kids feel sympathy toward people in that condition and especially for the kids forced to live in a situation that purposely denies the existence of either a mother or a father. They see kids around them turning “gay” and feel sorry for them. They come to me and my husband and talk openly about it and we guide them to understand the right and the wrong and the victims and the perpetrators. It is all we can do.
Thank you so much for your very insightful and helpful post. I need to think more and absorb the thoughts in your post. I think my son is Ok. He has a lot of friends from traditional homes. He’s also really smart and becoming more and more grounded all the time. I will talk to a friend who is a child development professional about what you wrote as I see a lot there worth considering. He’a an only child so having kids over is part of his social development. I’ll get back to you about what my friend advises. Thanks again.