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SPOOF BLAST FROM THE PAST -——————

TOP SECRET: AFFIDAVIT OF WILSON AND PLAME’S PIZZA DELIVERY GUY
DFU’s super secret source in the Justice Department | 7-2005 | Doug form Upland
Posted on 7/27/2005, 3:44:11 PM by doug from upland

AFFIDAVIT OF JAMES H. DONNER
My name is James H. Donner, and I am 19 years old.

No one has paid me for these statements. No member of the RNC, no one from the Bush administration, and no one from FreeRepublic.com has solicited this information.

For the past three and a half years, I have delivered pizza to the home of Joseph Wilson and Valerie Plame as well as to the homes of many others in the neighborhood. I live on the next street.

Everyone in the neighborhood knew that Plame worked for the CIA. It was no secret. Wilson was constantly bragging about it. She passed out her CIA business cards. Her Jaguar had a custom license plate: I SPY. At a costume party held by my parents, she and Wilson engaged in cross-dressing. She went as James Bond, and he was Pussy Galore. They used lines from Bond movies.

Sometimes when Wilson and Plame were in the spa in their backyard, some of us would peek through the fence from the house next door. They often drank French wine and ate Betty Crocker yellow cake with coconut pecan frosting. On several occasions we caught them having sex in the spa. They would be playing the soundtrack from FROM RUSSIA WITH LOVE, she would have a loaded Walther PPK on a ledge next to the spa, and at the moment of her maximum excitement, she would scream out, “Oh, Joe. Oh, Joe. I’m a spy, I’m a spy. Don’t tell anybody or I’ll have to kill you!” They got the biggest laugh out of that. Once, we even got some of the little kids in the neighborhood to pay us so they would get to watch through the fence.

One night in early 2002, they were in the spa and a few of us were peeking through the fence. I overheard Plame tell Wilson that she was going to tell people in our government that Wilson should go to Niger and check out a story about uranium. That night they were drinking sweet mint tea instead of French wine. They started to play the little spy game again but Plame got really mad. She was chewing Wilson out, yelling at him for not being able to perform. She said something like, “I have ways to find out, and I had better not find out that Little Joey has been wandering.” He seemed to turn pale.

Once when I delivered pizza in late 2004, Plame paid me with a check. She gave me the wrong check. I got out to my truck and realized that it was for $2,000. Gino’s makes great pizza, but we’ve never gotten $2,000 for one before. The check was made out to the John Kerry Presidential Campaign. She was grateful I gave it back, and when she paid me the right amount, she gave me another check of $50 for a tip. She also warned me not to tell anyone about the Kerry check. She said it in a way that kind of scared me.

The last time I delivered pizza to Wilson and Plame was in February of this year. I heard them laughing and talking about how they were going to F*** Karl Rove and F*** George Bush. I heard a couple of other voices. One, whom I think they called Chrissy, was talking about the days when he worked for Tip O’Neill. The other one sounded really drunk . One of them must have been the owner of the rusted out damaged 1968 Oldsmobile I saw in the driveway.

I swear that the statements made above are true and correct.

July 25, 2005

James H. Donner