Since his wife was the daughter of the Superintendent of West Point, this raises the question of how much was this a love match, and how much a move of military strategy, possibly on both their parts. I don’t think not hot explains it so much as time separated, perhaps not a love match in the first place, and aggressive women targeting a man with power, and perhaps failing confidence at age 60 and not what I as a woman would call handsome. Also, what other agendas did Broadwell and Kelley have?
This may be a case of over analysis...
Regardless of what the motives might have been, the Sh!tbird didn’t have the guts to step up to the wife and say the marriage was over before he fooled around, subjecting his wife to being infected with a possible STD let alone lying to her, their kids, his boss and the country he served...
No excuses, no need to dwell on it...it is what it is...