3. Should be: church marriages + state unions
If ELCA is a church, then they would marry who they want - but only under their authority, not the governments. And anyone who disagreed with that would dump ELCA and find another church they agreed with, and thereby personally reject ELCA’s definition of marriage. That’s why you would not only say that you’re married, but also under what church/faith.
Do you forbid the state to use the word marriage? If so, under what authority?