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To: Aliska

I hope that he is making life a living hell for her.


28 posted on 03/30/2015 8:30:56 PM PDT by sport
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To: sport
Seems like he is keeping her and children in the shadows. There may have been threats directed at him but I doubt any FReepers.

It's been interesting reading the many reviews and comments on his book at amazon. Some were very positive for Michael. Then one came along who knew (and remembered) all the things Michael did that weren't right.

He delayed CPR and either that or strangulation (they found marks) plus possibly bulimia were the cause of what happened to her. If it was bulimia, I wonder what heartless remarks Michael might have made to her. At the time, he clocked her mileage.

We will never know the whole truth, I tried to be objective at the time, but Terri was denied any chance of any quality to the life she had or to see if she could improve.

I don't care if I get branded a rw zealot. I did not want to euthanize my dear cat and we were happy together until the last week. Then i saw it was time for her to go. She got so thin. I gave her water in a dropper to almost the very end when she could still swallow. And she seemed to APPRECIATE it.

I never understood why it was ok to euthanize our beloved pets but not our beloved family or even some not so loved. Now I wonder if I should have put my feelings aside and have her euthanized.

My next cat died the following year and I did the same toward the end. She didn't get as weak and lose as much weight. I decided if she was still alive one morning, I would take her in and have her euthanized. I asked the vet if they suffer. Well sometimes it doesn't go so well. She died here at home before I could get her to the vets and they told me to bring her in. They pronounced her dead and gave me a nice box to bury her in. They didn't charge me anything, and they are pricey.

They would have tried a few things to save her but the odds were not good. It was partly the money plus they would use one of their cats for a live transfusion. I didn't want that. So I didn't want any more cats but one found me. I've now had him almost nine years now.

Anyway cats are not people and I have had a couple animals euthanized. One was a poor dog that ran in front of my car. It wasn't mine, no tags, but I took it to a vet right away to see if anything could be done. That was a long time ago and I paid $25 to euthanize it because they said they couldn't do anything for it.

The other was a pretty little tortoise shell cat who had climbed on the neighbor's engine block to keep warm; it was winter. When they started the car in the am, the cat jumped out but was injured. It upset me so I took her down to the vet I used for most of the above. Her shoulder was broken. I didn't have much money in those days. They wanted a lot to set it and suggested I could take her 200 mi to the state vet school. That wasn't practical for me. But I've never forgotten that little cat. I paid to have her euthanized and it still bothers me when I think of it.

So people might judge me both ways. Instead of all the cat talk I should have talked about my elderly aunt. I and my sister were responsible for her care but I was there the last six months. It came down to she didn't want to eat any more. I know it is normal for elderly toward the end.

I was sitting next to her bed when her Presbyterian minister came to talk to her. Everybody thought she was hopelessly not aware of the here and now but this proved she was to some extent. The minister said he and his wife had living wills. They only wanted water. He said, "______" my aunt's name, "your niece wants to know what you want to do about a feeding tube, end of life measure I don't exactly remember the words." I said this had never come up in our family before. She agreed, "yes" (it hadn't happened, true).

My sister and I talked. She had heard that it was very painful to die by dehydration. But I thought to be force fed if you are sick to your stomach might not be good. Anyway I called a priest. He dismissed me like he didn't want to be bothered. Then I talked to the hospital chaplain, a female. She was in favor of no feeding tube.

Finally I told them to put in a feeding tube. I knew it was a gamble and didn't want to cause prolonged suffering for her but I could not watch her starve to death either. So the head nurse called me in and shut the door. She pressured me to change my mind. I stood up to her, too, and said to put the feeding tube in.

So they did and she didn't wake up for 24 hours. She finally did and I could take her home which I did. She only lived 2 weeks after that. Only one day did she have a lot of pain so we gave her prescribed pain meds. Then the visiting nurse who had not been like the others said it was time for her to go so I didn't want to deal with her dying at home so back to the hospital. She went into a coma and just slept away.

What lingers to bother me is that the last night we were in her room; it was up by Chicago, and it was like people who knew her liked to come and were happy to have someone like me to to talk to. I enjoyed all of them. But what I am getting at is we were talking out loud about the end being near for her. Then I got up to go to her house (its was late). She died the next morning before I went to the hospital. I procrastinated and went to have a cup of coffee with her neighbor then was going to go. My sister got called by the hospital that she was gone so she called me.

At her visitation, one of her ladies who had been at the hospital that last night said, "did I see her moving her mouth like she wanted to say something?" No I hadn't but it was like some part of her knew and understood. I did say to her (I had fought to keep her alive all those months) that if Jesus sent an angel or somebody to get her to go with them.

But my point was that you shouldn't talk about negative things in front of a comatose person because there is a good chance they will know what you are talking about, get upset, but be unable to communicate. That is really important, I think.

So I went right to the hospital and was asked if I wanted to see her. Yes and no but I said yes (I was upsetting). So I saw her, talked to the hospital nurse and left. I was walking up the sidewalk toward my car and it was like an earthquake; the sidewalk was waving under my feet. It was the stress and I felt like I was going to pass out. I was the only family there all this time. I set my mind to I had to get to my car because if I passed out, I knew I would end up back in that hospital at least to be checked.

I made it back to her house and had to take care of a lot of things for the funeral. My sister did help with some of it but it was mostly on my shoulders.

But I have never regretted having a feeding tube put in. I hope I never have to deal with that again. I am probably next anyway. Sorry I ran on so long. I had my evening planned out but I burned my hand about a week ago, washed the dishes, and it's not right so I don't want to wash my hair and get it wet any more. I will look for my Walsporin before I go to bed here shortly.

37 posted on 03/30/2015 9:22:26 PM PDT by Aliska
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