OK none of you read the article, this is satire
After all, North Korea has elections where 100% of their citizens vote.
We also need to change the locations where we go to vote. Those polling places are so passé. We should move the voting to Starbucks. After all isn’t there one in every neighborhood now? That would be perfect and convenient. People need to go there to get their morning wake-up caffeine shot anyway so they could kill two birds with one scone while listening to cool jazz. And now since the baristas are totally versed on social issues like race and the environment they would be more able to handle the entire process unlike the current volunteers. Really, who wants to go vote in the back of a real estate office with a bunch of gray-haired people sitting around? No wonder no one votes – that is as dullsville as you can get. They don’t even offer pastries in those places like a Starbucks does.
We have to wait for his next column to find out. After all he can't be serous