Satire site?
I reckon not.
Some punk ratted on him for having the dog in there even though the owner allowed it.
Cruz paid the fine for the owner.
Maybe this will offer a clue:
Originally from the Langerhans Islets, Alexander Crouton-Skitch enjoyed a 10-year career as a Falkland Islands Motivational Surgeon before earning a BS and later an advanced degree in Pasquinade from Boston's prestigious Emerstone College.