I’m good at getting a thread moving.
Kind of like a thread laxative ? Or Lazative ?
The worst is the stealth troll.
I do that a lot.
There are a lot of threads about Russia and Ukraine that I don’t post in.
But... it’s like... I’m there.
You know ?
Just hangin’ out.
Nobody can see me in those threads.
They don’t even know I’m there. Cuz I don’t move a muscle. I’m dead still. Not even blinkin’ my eyes. And that’s hard for me, cuz I’m a sneezer. Kept me outta all kinds of important assignments. You can’t sneeze when you’re flyin’ a plane and you got an oxygen mask on. Or if you’re on some secret mission and you’re a sniper. I mean, when I sneeze - you can hear it all over the neighborhood. It literally scares away the black bears. They’re like “what was that - dude, I’m outta here” to their friends.
But on lots of those Russian threads... I can sit there completely unnoticed.
Just influencin’ the conversation, without sayin’ a word.
It’s like all in my mind - I got these mental powers. Trained at the Russian troll school. It’s not in the Kremlin. Can’t tell you where it is. Super-secret. I don’t even know myself.