I Sexually Identify As An A-10 Thunderbolt
I have finally found the strength to admit it.
I was 12 years old when I realized that Im not really a man at heart, but rather a 19 foot, 10.5 inch long gatling gun strapped onto a 24,959 pound airframe.
All my life has been a lie but Im setting that right today. I was designed to kill Soviet tanks. From now on, call me Warthog. Thats my real name.
Im having plastic surgeons attach a GAU-8 Avenger 30 milimeter rotary cannon, 1,200 pounds of titanium armor, and two General Electric TF34-GE-100 turbofan engines to my body. Sgt. Major Fairchild said Im fucking stupid and I cant be a jet, but Im beautiful and I am a goddamn jet.
If the Army wont pay for me to get the surgery, Im just going to bring in Code Pink and point out that that Manning loser is getting hormones and hes in prison so why shouldnt a perfectly well-adjusted and honorably serving soldier have the right to be who they truly are, a metal killing machine?
I am so sick and tired of being oppressed. Now we A-10s are on Congresss chopping block. Its sickening to see all the white cisgender nazi shitlords literally raping my people with their actions.
Its my right to spray 2,100 to 4,200 depleted uranium rounds per minute at both soft and hard targets and if you dont support me and my transformation then youre an aerialphobe and need to check your weapon platform privilege.
Read more: http://www.duffelblog.com/2015/03/op-ed-i-sexually-identify-as-an-a-10-thunderbolt/#ixzz3Urcm9Jbz
Do you prefer your JP-8 neat or on the rocks?