I actually know a “transgender” person and watched the whole thing transpire. She was always tomboyish but a nice, quiet person. I enjoyed riding jet skis on the lake with her. In her 20’s she announced that she was lesbian. I can’t say I was surprised, nobody was really but it weighed on her. We remained friends, I even accepted her girlfriends and worked hard to make sure nothing changed as far as our friendship.
After about a decade, she decided that she was really male and that she wanted to marry her girlfriend. My thought was, what a strange, jumbled up way of thinking, that a lesbian would want to be with a male. She went through with it, the testosterone treatments, breasts amputated. The “lower” thing apparently isn’t all that successful so that wasn’t done. Surprisingly, “she” stayed with her girlfriend and they did get “married,” in the backyard of “her” girlfriend’s parent’s house, some wacky Episcopalian priest officiating. I attended.
It was a boozy affair, large crowd, very alternative people as you can imagine. I left the party early in the evening, after walking in on the new “wife” of my longtime friend in a state of undress in a bathroom with another lesbian. They don’t take “marriage” seriously. I felt so bad, angry really, for my friend. I’ve come to realize now that “she” knew, that it’s really the expectation. They’re still together.
I haven’t been able to be a close friend for over a decade now. I run into them on odd occasion and am civil. I don’t drink like I once did so there’s just not that much interaction anymore. However, one somewhat drunken occasion a few years back, my old estranged friend admitted to me that “he” was mistaken for a gay male all the time and sort of liked it. I will never understand, though I tried.
Sad story; no “acceptance” or “education” is going to deceive the patient that there is anything “normal” about a deviant lifestyle or mental condition. Some drink/use drugs to avoid killing themselves more quickly.