Neo, I am waiting for that apology. Apologize for having sex with my toaster.
Norm,
I am sorry if you misunderstood my intentions with your toaster and any pain that may have caused you. I have no specific recollection of having carnal desires for your toaster, but that was 45 years ago, when I was a teenager.
Boys are boys and if I had to remember everything I did, there would be no more room left in my brain.
Of course, I secretly want to say something else, but discretion is sometimes the better part of valor.