I think that the real inner me is a lost Star-Child from the Pleiades with raging heterosexual appetites that can only be sated by the finest Earth Women, who I have been sent here to sample, test and recruit for the rejuvenation of our dying race.
(Think that’s good enough for a movie deal? Book deal? Paperback? Chick Tract?)
It would work well as an admittance form, for sure.