It’s absolutely my last.
I don’t care for the constant drudgery, work, the unholy connectedness with those who have passed, the overwhelming sorrow, creative and fanciful stories and an alcoholic who just can’t live in the harsh reality the rest of do.
44 years old and never been forced to grow up and face his shortcomings, his over whelming self centeredness, His sickening displays toward his mother and telling the world how everything works despite 25 years of Karmic bitch slapping.
Never does anything wrong or rather doesn’t cop to anything other than “How could they make such a fool out of me?”
My response “Gee, I dunno. Might be that outrageous and violent attitude you demonstrate when you get a few drinks in you and then your unwilliness to objectively take responsibility for being an ass”.
“I should be able to socialize with my friends and drink” says the adolescent.
“Why sure, you should. Cept for this one glaring fact: You have zero friends. None, Nada, Zip. No one wants to speak with you are hang out with you anymore and most have said never again.
So, is drinking such a good idea” I respond.
“I just spoke with the only two cousins I talk to anymore on Facebook” another childish response given.
“Really? You are seriously delusional. You meant to say they are the only two left that will have fleeting and non organic communications with you.
Of the nearly 80 cousins you have, many of whom were extremely close to you growing up, THEY NO LONGER have any desire to speak with you.
That’s what you meant, right?” I responded.
Crickets, crickets, crickets....
“I don’t talk to my aunts and uncles anymore. They never did what I wanted and that’s just not love” more adolescent delsusions
“So, because they won’t support your lifestyle, listen to your drunken name calling and yelling or complete lack of respect they are the ones in the wrong? I see”. I observe.
And it goes on and on and on.
2nd Christmas that he’s spending at home in 25 years.
To be fair, he was incarcerated for 1/2 that time or more and on Parole the rest.
Has several “Defrauding an Inn Keeper” cases stacked up and waiting disposition.
Another, also waiting disposition, for “Failure to Appear”
Aaaaaand, none of these will be resolved until his felonious burglary and theft are resolved.
He is so stupid, he apologized to the person for doing it “IN a FREAKING TEXT!!!!”
Fooking stoopit or what?
So, he’s been back since Saturday, sleeps in all day, doesn’t do any house work or go to AA(Well, I think he might have gone to day and done something his mom told him do)
Told me point blank how things are and that he was going to ease himself into it and “I dunno, maybe look for a job. I don’t think I can do anything really...”
So, after I told him how it was and that it is absolutely not necessary I say another word to get him going in the right direction because Karma and her step sister, Bitch, are on the hunt.
We are now 5 days with him avoiding being in the same room with me and absolutely refusing to speak with me.
His Mom got angry with me and wanted to know if I said Hello to him.
Told her, “No. He staked out his position. Your silence while he was doing so gave him all the imprimatur he needed and he is getting the Bobby Brady treatment.”
Live by your rules. Natural law still has consequences and I don’t need to say or do a thing.
Besides, I am not the aggressor nor the cause nor the one insulting everyone under the sun.
I got nothing to say.
I feel sorry for a man that at 44 can’t and has never been an adult and maybe isn’t even sentient but, I did this with my Mom’s now dead husband.
I was 15 when I broke my Mom’s alcoholic husbands nose and this kinda feel like the same era but, a new day or Ground Hog Day.
The real tragedy, is because of his felony and admitting it in a text, as I understand it he is going to jail on January 23rd.
So, after spending the last 4 months drunk off his butt, burning every opportunity he was given again and driving off investors, as well as simple acquaintences, I think he feels hopeless.
I can’t help him but, I will not be objectified and galled into helping anyone who is going to cross my boundaries time and again and then finally reaching my threshold by threatening violence against me, now 6 times in the last 4 months.
No way it ends well for him and I’m waiting for him to feel froggy and jump.
Merry Friggin Christamas.
Oh, I still have my Mom, my Dad, brothers and sisters and a bunch of friends.
I won’t be here tomorrow so they can have family time and I can as well.
Might even walk back in tomorrow night to grab some clothes and move out.
I am not down with this.
“never been forced to grow up and face his shortcomings, his over whelming self centeredness, His sickening displays toward his mother and telling the world how everything works “
That’s how drunks are.
The ONLY solution is to have nothing to do with him. ;He won’t change unless he gets sober and works the steps. Most can stop drinking for a short time, but never change. Very few do what is necessary.
Yeah, I pray for you a better year. I understand all too well. Worry about whether you are doing the right thing for you, because you aren’t reaching him. And that is not your fault so stop trying. Hugs.
Give his situation to God, walk away, and let God arrange his careening into a wall.