The smear begins ...
Expect a blockbuster expose in the New York Times about the incident in first grade when Cruz pulled a little girl’s pigtails and called her a “poopy-head,” thereby demonstrating what would evolve into his misogynist “war on women” attitude.
Then there was that time in junior high when he and a companion of questionable character went to a fast food restaurant and got their meals served in styrofoam containers, a clear indication of his callous disregard for the environment.
Even as an Eagle Scout, he left hundreds, if not thousands, of old ladies standing at crosswalks, unassisted as they attempted to cross busy streets. And his den leader was an acknowledged heterosexual!
The man is clearly not fit to be president.
Your scenarios, as absurd as they are, are probably pretty close to what the media will actually come up with. Remember how they went after Palin’s emails two or three years AFTER she was the VP candidate and when she wasn’t even running for anything?