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The Gods of the Copybook Headings (excerpted)
In the Carboniferous Epoch we were promised abundance for all,
By robbing selective Peter to pay for collective Paul;
But, though we had plenty of money, there was nothing our money could buy,
And the Gods of the Copybook Headings said: ‘If you don’t work you die.’
The the Gods of the Market tumbled, and their smooth-tounged wizards withdrew,
And the hearts of the meanest were humbled and began to belive it was true
That All is not Gold that Glitters, and Two and Two make Four-—
And the Gods of the Copybook Headings limped up to explain it once more
As it will be in the future, it was at the birth of Man-—
There are only four things certain since Social Progress began:-—
That the Dog returns to his Vomit and the Sow returns to her mire,
And the burnt Fool’s bandaged finger goes wabbling back to the Fire;
And that after this is accomplished, and the brave new world begins
When all men are paid for existing and no man must pay for his sins,
As surely as Water will wet us, as surely as Fire will burn,
The Gods of the Copybook Headings with terror and slaughter return!
Rudyard Kipling
My tiny baby brother,
Who's never read a book,
Knows one sex from the other,
All he had to do was look!
(From "Doin' What Comes Naturally," in Annie, Get Your Gun