This sounds awful.
I am so screwed.
But you need not be. There is a solution and really despite all you hear & read it's simple. John ch 3 v 16 & 17.
16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth on him should not perish, but have eternal life. 17 For God sent not the Son into the world to judge the world; but that the world should be saved through him.
Christ Disciples the ones who were with him nearly three years and saw his miracles had trouble believing. We want to think of things in an adult frame of mind. To come to GOD the Father we need to come as a child does to a loving parent. A child that does wrong usually eventually tells the parent because of conscience. So must we to The Lord. No we don't have to shout our wrongs from the roof top or even tell others. Go into a place alone and confess sins in private. Mans teachings makes it so difficult when GOD's plan through Christ makes it so easy.