A woman at work asked for advice in a similar situation.
Husband came out as gay, but doesn’t want to get divorced.
The husband’s solution was an open marriage, so he lives with her and the kids to maintain the family (they have children) but he has the freedom to see guys on the side.
She asked for advice.
Most advice she received as “it is so great he feels free to come out today”, or “here is a support group for straight spouses of gay guys”.
My suggestion - treat it as if he had asked for permission to commit adultery as a woman. If you wouldn’t permit him cheating on you with another woman, then get a divorce, and he’s free to pursue his relationships as he’d like. If he wants to maintain his family, he should get counseling to be the faithful husband and father he wants to pretend to be. And if he’s asking for an open relationship, feel free to refuse and demand STD testing because he is risking your health.
I was the only one who suggested divorce / actually staying together as the two main choices.
I was reprimanded at work with an entry in my HR file for using the judgmental term “adultery”. My advice was considered too controversial, derogatory to homosexuals. My statements were inappropriate.
The fact that she was asking for advice was irrelevant, the fact that she was discussing a personal and sexual matter wasn’t inappropriate, but giving advice that would have been a no-brainer 20 years ago was unacceptable.
If I had not been female, and said I was giving the same advice I’d give to any other woman in any other situation with a cheating husband, I probably would have lost my job.
she should be reprimanded for even bringing this up at work... plus what did she do? blab to everybody the advice everyone was giving her? i do not feel sorry for your co-worker... she sounds awful... i am sure she is not very productive...
“If I had not been female, and said I was giving the same advice I’d give to any other woman in any other situation with a cheating husband, I probably would have lost my job.”
Sounds like you need to find another place to work... ASAP.
“Human Resources Departments” such as you describe here more than amply demonstrate that they are nothing other than the lifestyle revolutionaries’ nose inside Corporate America’s tent. Ban them federally by regulations issued by the Labor Department. If we do not ban them, then the HR departments will soon be running political re-education camps to eliminate all but the politically correct from their jobs and income.