“I have had success with hundreds of children whose parents said they were out of control or wouldn’t listen.”
Unless you’ve been very busy in the bedroom, you have not raised hundreds of kids as a parent. The role of a parent is very different from a teacher. The same rules do not apply.
“I’ve never needed to punish a child with hitting of any kind.”
I have. Kids like and need clear rules, and to know they are not in control. Like a horse, they thrive when the know someone tougher than them is taking care of life and protecting them. That is when they are safe to enjoy life.
You can try talking to two year olds if you wish. I’ve met some who would respond to talk. Many more do not. Horses for courses, and choose the discipline that works with your individual child.
Of that you are correct. Parental impatience isn't an excuse to hit a child.