I had an abusive girlfriend who liked to get drunk all the time, and every three months or so she'd hit.
Put up with it for 18 months, then called the county police on her drunk a&&.
Yes, I do, my brother found himself in that situation. It’s every bit as wrong.
A man calling the cops on a crazy woman is probably less terrifying than a woman calling the cops on a crazy man. Men are usually bigger and stronger and capable of rage.
Back then, the cops actually had to catch him at my house in order to arrest him for violating a restraining order (not worth the paper it’s printed on). So, if I have him arrested, once he makes bail, I now have an ENRAGED abuser to deal with.
When I moved out, I alerted the local PD to the situation and that he had threatened to kill me on more than one occasion. I called the police when he showed up at my house threatening me again. It took 45 minutes for them to respond. That is the exact moment I understood no one could protect me but me and embraced my 2nd amendment rights. I decided then that I would never be a victim again if I had any say in it.
I don’t think there is as much psychological manipulation in those instances so maybe men tend to stay in those relationships for a much shorter period of time? OTOH, I can see some staying simply because they’re too embarrassed to admit that’s what is going on.
Either way, abusers of all stripes have a great knack for confining their victims in a cage of the victim’s own fabrication. Built entirely out of shame, humiliation, fear, desperation, dependence, hope (that things will change), insecurities, etc.