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Don't worry, Liberals. This HIPAA Violation story is going nowhere.

Soon as Eric Holder arrives, he'll straighten out this little misunderstanding!

Cuz his iPhone's got special Top Secret Apps installed that you'll never find in your Apple Store or Google Store. Heh heh.

Like one called: "Exemptions, Exceptions, Executive-Orders & Pardons Wizard".

He swipes the top-level list down to "Exemptions".

Then swipes the level-2 list down to "HHS-Issued Exemptions".

Next list: skip past hundreds of Obamacare related items, down to "HIPAA".

Next level: swipes down to "Unauthorized Disclosure of Individual's Confidential Medical Records"

A form pops up to fill in:

* Name of alleged victim/patient:___________

* Name of Medical Institution:___________

* Name of alleged "Discloser" of Confidential Info:___________
  - Add Another Discloser Name...

* Nature of Allegedly Leaked Info__________
  INSTRUCTIONS: Enter a few key words, and within 4 hrs our legal team
  will supply exact language describing the alleged violation.
  OR: If you don't have time to wait, select "Blanket Exemption" here ...

* Delay (minutes) desired before automatically appears on White House.gov

* Issue a Press Release? (y/n)

  - Which outlets? Select between 1 and all of following pulldown list...

  - For each Media organ, select means to communicate news of new ruling:
    o SMS/Email/Tweet/facebook/"Confidential Source" Briefing Robocall/
     RegularSnailMail/SnailMailWithNoPostageAndKnownObsoleteAddress/...

  - Add-Ons for Press-Release:
    Standard List of Spin-Memes to append:
    o "The Do-Nothing Congress forced us to act"
    o "The American People have emphatically told us they want this"
    o "It's Bush's Fault" / "The Dubya Made Me Do It"
    o .......

  - If backpedaling/disowning the story later becomes necessary,
    provide BackPedaling instructions for Media: [ONLY for
    Media outlets subscribing to our Auto-Spin/BackSpin service]:
    o Ignore it.
    o "Innocent mis-statement."
    o "With our nation's infrastructure crumbling around our ears,
      how can you possibly focus on such a trivial issue?"
    o Wrong button pushed by summer White House intern
      (underaged, so can't release name).
    o Wrong button pushed by summer intern whose inadequate
      training is due to sequester cuts from the Do-Nothing House.
    o "It's *still* All Bush's Fault, dammit!"
    o .......