I know you don't want to ask them, but can't the kids help? I'd like to believe that if something happened to me and our savings, our kids would help my wife as much as they could, not just as much as seemed convenient.
My father will never want for anything except for my Mother who passed away 6 years ago, they were married 67 year’s. In they’re younger day’s on the ranch Mom and Pop worked cow’s and drove into town on Saturday’s to sell butter, egg’s, chickens and rabbit’s, then came back Sunday’s and put some of that money in the basket at church. We never went hungry and I never had to wear hand me down cloth’s, Mom would make me some new one’s. Oil and gas was discovered on the ranch and changed everything except the way MOM and POP took care of us kid’s. Dad has a nice place with assistance and a nurse that comes by regularly, should he want to go anywhere there’s a Citation XL sitting in the hanger at the airpark.