“Do they make horses that Reich can ride? Gunz he can shoot?”
The American Free market can, indeed, supply a horse Reich can ride. Google Amazon for “Hobby Horse”.
If a real, live horse for the Giftzwerg Reich is required, there is always someone willing to sell a Shetland pony or perhaps a miniture horse might be a better match.
Maybe a dwarf “Silky Pony”?
As for an appropriate gun for Giftzwerg Reich, I suggest a small water pistol or a cap pistol.
Apparently that was never part of the curriculum in my HS German classes. ;-)