First, Americans are adverse to spraying their bottoms with water. The bidets in the bathrooms of Americans traveling to Europe are laughed at, not adored.
Second, heated toilet seats? Yea, I have seen those offered, almost no American wants to place their bare genitals and backside down on an electrical water bowl.
Third, cost. Its a crapper for crying out loud. Isn't money better spent on electronics where you would prefer to spend most of your time?
Fourth, cleanliness. Given what it is that you have to clean from a toilet, the less it has to stick to, the better off you are.
Finally, simplicity. What you want most from all plumbing is reliability. Microchips do not enhance the reliability of a flush bowl, gas neck mechanism that only needs water dumped in it to function properly.
The author sounds like a flaming metro-sexual, who fantasizes about heated butt seats, while getting a mani-pedi.
I am not sure about the heated seats (would be nice in the case when I am in one of my great virus fevers, admittedly, but probably can’t justify those few occasions for that cost), but the bidet and dryer are the bomb.
As one who lacks a gall bladder, I spend more time than I would like with the porcelain throne. And after a while, toilet tissue feels like sand paper. I have a very simple bidet (look up Tushi Clean, I found it by searching for other gall bladder-free sufferers). That thing is a blessing from The Lord. Reduces toilet paper use too. Could make that zero if the thing had a blow dryer. My next house will have the dryer and the bidet.
So judging men’s sexuality on their use of a bidet, is just nuts, IMO. Plus the fact, that after using a bidet, you realize just how nasty you remain with toilet tissue. Flushable wet wipe sales are not increasing without reason... and unfortunately clogging many sewer systems in cities (and rural areas too, their tank systems).
But on the other side, buying one of these multi-kilodollar contraptions could be considered nuts as well (unless you just have money to toss overboard).
In America it is about cost, and people not really being aware of what is available for the bathroom.
It takes years for new technology to catch on in bathrooms and it usually has to come from the contractors putting it in new houses.
One of the most wasteful trends in bathroom technology that I have ever seen was the oversize Jacuzzi tub, it was rarely used and generally came to be a place to water or store the house plants.
People will love heated seats and modern toilets, when someone starts installing them as standard in new homes.
I suspect that the author hires somebody like me to clean his bathroom.