This is, IMHO, the classic dialogue between Calvinism and Arminianism with the two being unable to find common ground.
Seems to me neither “ism” is entirely correct, and the paradoxical biblical treatment reflects two different viewpoints on the same reality which would be something like this:
On some eternal plane, all can choose. Embrace Satan and go where he goes, or embrace the Lord and be pulled free of Satan and go to where the Lord is.
On the plane of this mortal coil, we see the choice, and its consequences, play out. Appeals to accept salvation, which appear as events in this mortal plane, speak to the eternal plane.
I do know one thing. I can not engineer my own salvation. All I can do is embrace its efficacious Source in a response of love, however feebly and clumsily that begins. And when that is genuine, “no one shall snatch me out of His hand.” I couldn’t do it, because on what leverage would I lean to that end? Satan? He’s beaten now. By wallowing in sin I can gain myself misery, but no longer eternal hell.
Additionally, it is often forgotten that God is an entirely different order of being than is man. The terms that apply to man, such as "Love," "Hate" etc. do not necessarily mean the same when applied to the Lord. To get around this problem some theologians use the concept of analogy. Analogy is a weak form of "reason" if it is "reason" at all?