Hello Muddah, hello Fadduh,
Here I am at Camp Gaul
Camp is very entertaining
and they say we’ll have some fun if it stops raining.
I went hiking with Cassius
He developed poison ivy
You remember Brutas
He got ptomaine poisoning last night after dinner.
All the soldiers hate the slaves
And the lake has alligators
And the head Roman soldier wants no sissies
So he reads to us from something called Ulysses.
Now I don’t want this should scare ya
But my bunkmate has malaria
You remember Augustas
They’re about to organize a searching party.
Take me home, oh muddah fadduh, take me home, I hate Gaul
Don’t leave me out in the forest where I might get eaten by a bear.
Take me home, I promise I will not make noise or mess the house with other boys, oh please don’t make me stay, I’ve been here one whole day.
Dearest fadduh, darling muddah,
How’s my precious little bruddah?
Let me come home if ya miss me
I will even let Aunt Agrippina hug and kiss me.
Wait a minute, it stopped hailing,
Guys are swimming, guys are sailing,
Playing Harpustum gee that’s better,
Muddah Fadduh please disregard this letter.
Awesome.