I don’t believe we can just choose what we believe, at least not if it is true belief. Christians believe that faith is a gift of God. Our job is to help others receive that gift of faith. We should not be about threatening anyone with hell.
I think that all of reality is open to discussion when talking with anyone, whether Christian or non-Christian.
I don't have time to talk about every aspect of reality every time I talk to someone. Some things will come up and some won't. However, the Apostle Paul says that some are "saved though as by fire."
If a situation requires a mention of hell, then we should have no more reluctance to talk about that reality than if we are talking about prayer.
We can’t send anyone to Hell so it would be an empty threat.
But we can say what the Bible says about it. I didn’t write the Bible so don’t blame me.