Posted on 07/27/2013 12:15:47 PM PDT by nickcarraway
No.
And not because of moral reasons, it's simply a matter of practicality. I've never seen a polygamous relationship in which every participant was happy and content. Because of my research into alternative lifestyles, I actually know a lot of people who are in polygamous relationships (there are support groups for that, you know). I don't think it is immoral, as long as all parties involved are consenting adults.
However in practice, such a relationship requires way too much energy to maintain, and one or two people are always left feeling unhappy, undervalued, not needed, and not loved. Human beings are selfish and possessive, especially when they're in love. Very few people are capable of sharing their loved ones with other people, even under the pretense that you receive love from the other person. This is especially true if the polygamous relationship is 1 male + multiple females or 1 female + multiple males. One will undoubtedly become the favorite, and the other will end up resentful and feeling depressed.
An ideal situation, which most polygamous relationships I knew were trying to achieve, is somewhat a "network" of love, instead of a pyramid. For example, in a relationship with one male and three females, if the love exists only between the male and each female, it's not going to work. It has to be male and female, and female and female, in other words, everyone needs to love everyone.
(Excerpt) Read more at slate.com ...
If I want to hear two women complaining, I will phone my ex-wives.
The next assault on the family I could see would be two gay men “marrying” their surrogate or breeder. She gets to have a baby they primarily raise, there are fewer legal wranglings than getting a surrogate to give up her rights or pay her, and the men can divorce her when they no longer want her around or leave the child with her when they want to go out. And they’d argue that it is creating a family like ours, just with an extra adult.
The other oddity would be the two gay men and two gay women gathered into an extended family, with the men fathering children artificially with the women (I’ve hard of it) and gaining rights via marriage while remaining with their same-sex partners.
But the Heinlein views of polygamous families and line marriages as happy, supportive places are purely fantasy. And “open” relationships make everyone jealous if not physically ill, in a way that a committed marriage will not.
Or if you prefer, one disappointing woman is enough for me.
Paint your Wagon....
In “Roughing It” Mark Twain has a chapter on Brigham Young and the Mormons. As a father, Brigham Young has the duty to be fair to his many offspring. A visitor gave one child a penny whistle that he had in his pocket. To be fair, Brigham Young had to get equivalent penny whistles for each of his over 100 children. They had to talk for two weeks using hand signals.
Brigham Young’s advice: 42 wives may have been a little excessive. To younger men he recommends moderation, based on his own experience. Noone needs more than 10 or 11 wives.
I guess even a dog can dream.
From what I've read, polyandry often occurs in situations where a bunch of brothers share a wife (fraternal polyandry). If they can't be the dad, at least they can be a uncle. Sort of like a simultaneous levirate.
Reminds me of the old joke. God asks Adam and Eve which one wants to be able to pee standing up. Adam steps forward and says the he definitely deserves to be able to pee standing up. So God says, "Ok Eve, I guess you're stuck with multiple orgasms".
Uh-uh.
I have one and we get along well, (thankfully, but many are not so lucky).
Unless he has a couple of wives, a mistress and multiple one night stands...
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