The problem with the .410 is that most of them are choked too tight. Because of the small payload, manufacturers choke them full or fuller than full.
I have shot sporting clays with my Winchester 101 in .410 and out to about 35 yards it breaks clays just fine (not smokeballs, but into 5-6 pieces) and it is choked skeet-skeet. On the skeet field (all targets within 25 yards, it has gone as high as 97 out of 100.
The .410 gets into peoples heads, if you do your job, it will break the birds.
For home defense I do agree the 20 gauge is superior. My HD shotgun is a Winchester Model 12 pump (capacity 6) in 16 gauge. The 16 gauge buckshot round is 12 balls of #1 Buck (.30 caliber). A 2 3/4” 12 gauge 00 buckshot round is 9 balls of .33 caliber. I think the 16 is superior, you just better be stocked up in advance.