I agree with you. But I also agree that states should step out of the way, too.
When the priest, minister, or other religious leader conducting the marriage ceremony says “By the power vested in me by the State of New York (Texas, Florida, whatever)...” it makes me gag. I thought we were supposed to have a separation between church and state in this country?
Unfortunately the cat is out of the bag on the state and federal level.
Social security benefits, federal tax classifications, and other federal goodies make it impossible to get the federal government out of the marriage business.