They most regularly happen at night when a loaded shotgun next to a bed would be just as convenient as a handgun.
This absurd idea that a shotgun is the one size fits all solution
Who the hell is making that assertion? The lady in question seems to be incapable of competently shooting a .38 revolver. I would suggest she try a small 20 gauge shotgun which a petite 60ish female should have little trouble handling with some training/practice.
PS Squeezing the trigger is much more effective than "pulling" it.
Where does the op say anything like that? It only says that she owns a 38, and several people told her a shotgun would be the better. Obviously a lot of folks agree here, and a lot disagree, including me.