As for a primary approach to discussion, in this last year I have, for the most part, abandoned discussion with religious people. I only commented on this thread because I hoped that some lurker who has considered my explanation would see it and know that they are not alone. Trying to discuss religion with the religious is like trying to discuss socialism with a liberal. It never leads to anything but a cul-de-sac.
I certainly understand your desire to have the world be one way. Just remember a desire is not a proof. My original objection was not that you are not religious, but that you are closed to the possibility that you may be wrong.
I may be wrong, but I don't think being closed minded is a virtue.