Perhaps if you gave him more hugs (and other affection), he wouldn't have been so interested in porn?
I think that in many cases, an interest in porn is a symptom of lack of sexual satisfaction in the man's regular life.
Oh my Goodness... You Blame CC because of her ex-husbands actions?
No matter how I act that does not mean those around me are free to be jerks or rude or insensitve. People choose thier own actions. Even if they are wrong.
Porn isn’t a symptom, Porn is a tool of Satan to destroy families and corrupt minds.
Notice I said Porn not SEX..Sex is a beautiful physical action within the confines of a covenant Marriage.
I think that in many cases, making a comment as you just did is indicative of trollish, anti-woman, anti-family, anti-conservative attitudes and is BULL SHIT.
A popular misconception. While the initial interest in porn is simply normal sexual wiring, an addiction only comes about when there are other abnormalities of development that prepare the individual for the addictive response. Rather like alcoholism. Beer may have a general appeal to many otherwise healthy individuals, but for some it is the path to apparently uncontrollable, self-destructive behaviors.
In the case of many, an overemphasis on physical sexuality, especially at an early age, creates a learning pattern that divorces sexual well-being from relational well-being. Very often you will find the addicted individual is sexually narcissistic because normal relationship development was interrupted by premature exposure to visual and or physical sexual behavior, often foisted on them by adults they trusted, who themselves have the same mental dichotomy between sex and relationship, and often for the same reason. It is generationally propagated.
That’s why you do need to be careful to not blame the victim, and the victim in these relationships is most certainly the healthy spouse who discovers their significant other is repeatedly and compulsively reducing them (and others) to sexual object status. They probably have no way to articulate or respond to how bad this makes them feel. You think you’ve got this love relationship, then discover this monstrous coldness in the other person. It can turn your life upside down. It would be a rare and exceptional person capable of not responding with revulsion, but with compassion. But the wound would still be deep and painful.
Pornography is well established as a way to divert young minds from a healthy pattern for learning how to be in meaningful and satisfying relationships. It is so reliable in this effect it is the basis of a multi-billion dollar addiction industry. At some point in the process, the overstimulation produces real chemical dependency, along with the unexpected side effect of lessened sexual capacity. Hence, one might even suspect that the general rise in chemical aids for sexual performance is a direct result of the culture of sexual addiction.
The problem with addictions is there is always a path back into the addictive behavior, even when the most compelling rational reasons would make any sensible person to back away. Irrationality becomes the normal state of mind. Productivity in other areas is diminished. There is no release through reason, or religious exercises, or even renewed spousal affection, because the addiction calls the shots.
There is only one reliable exit from the nightmare. There is a God in Heaven. He is real. If He didn’t exist, you would be stuck with who you are forever. But He does change people. I have seen it first hand. No power of Satan is great enough to resist His determination to rescue you. He can bridge the gap, fill in the missing piece of your soul, that stands between who you are, and who you want to become.
To any person reading this who suffers from this addiction, you know how helpless you really feel. You start by admitting your helplessness. You admit this is not normal, that it controls you, that it is hurting you and everyone around you. Christians call that sort of thing sin. Sin is sin because it’s not good, not good for you, not good for God, not good for anyone. It needs to go. It can be made to go. God can do this. How bad do you want your life back? Bad enough to really turn this over to God? Bad enough to lay it all out in the open for your spouse to see? Bad enough to believe in miracles? Then go for it. Do what’s right, don’t look back, and expect to be amazed by the love and power of God, who left the comforts and glory of Heaven for love, to give Himself for you on a cross, just to give you this new life:
Isaiah 61:3 To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that he might be glorified.
2Cor 5:17 Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.
Peace,
SR