and despite the divorce, you are filled with the same rage he felt.
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Even if the parents had stayed together there still would have plenty of reason for long lasting rage. ...Maybe even **more** reason for rage.
That is to ignore the elephant in the room: divorce is like cutting the Gordian knot. It solves nothing, it only destroys. It promises happy outcomes it does deliver. Sort of like adultery, or getting drunk. The hangover is worse than the pain you are trying to escape.
My fraternal twin was his favorite to such an extent that not only we sisters were jealous, but my mother was jealous too. It's a very stupid man who does that.
And yeah, there have been other men for whom nothing was ever good enough. Fortunately I'm with someone better now.
Oh, yeah, I'm 6'1"' and although I am not and was not ugly, there have been times when it has been painful to see that a lot of men prefer women who are a lot smaller, less intelligent, etc., than they themselves are.
One ex-boyfriend had an ex-girlfriend from hell. About 5 feet tall with big boobs, and a real beeyotch in many ways, including promiscuity and multiple children out of wedlock. I hated her for the way she treated my ex and those kids, and also other men. But as long as her looks held out, she could get away with outrageous things. Made her look dumb, and made the men look dumb too for having anything to do with her.
Yes, it might have been nice to have more of a choice, instead of merely taking what I could get.
Anyway, I'm glad there are some decent men in this world. I finally got together with one.