COMMENTS Although I have never experienced spouse abuse---I did some research on it to try to understand why women would marry such men.
Research showed that while dating, and in the early marriage,---the men acted normal --- EXCEPT they would gently touch the woman when trying to make a point---saying stuff like "honey, don't say that". The untimely, unnecessary touching escalated into beatings, even savage murders.
One woman dated while both were in the Army---he pulled stunts like climbing up the side of the barracks to get into her room---where he was prohibited from.
She never "got" that this very aggressive behavior would end up with wife-beatings while she endured a very abusive marriage.
CASE STUDY There's the book about a seemingly mild-mannered dentist who savagely murdered his wife----and even beat her to a pulp on their honeymoon.
When she introduced him to her grandfather while dating----the family was embarrassed b/c granddad became very upset---and demanded the man leave the house b/c he said "This man has a history."
They found out after the murder that the mild mannered dentist did indeed have a violent history.