I don't have Kerry in a tube.....but I got Obama talking with a pirate:
Obama meets with Omar Abdel-Rahman (the Blind Sheik for those in Rio Linda) prior to release. 
Obama: " OK Abdel-Rahman, I got your one way to Cairo on e-bay"
Omar: "you may call me Omar"
Obama: "Thanks Omar...and I got you a disguise as those pesky FReepers have an eye out for you"
Omar: "Let me consult with you later on that"
Obama: "I got it covered, what with the FEMA camps and a billion rounds of ammo."
Omar: "Keep up the good work my brother from another mother"
Obama: "And how was the American culture field trip to a noodling competition ?
Omar: ..."I caught an alligator."
When only a Presidential "Face Palm" will suffice.
