[Bender2]

Don't these gutless ex-SEAL traitors know that I alone... killed Osama--

And if they keep on telling lies... I may have to show them how I did it!

Sir? Excuse me, Mr. President, but... we've already leaked how you did it to Kathryn Bigelow, the New York Times, Washington Post, CNN, MSNBC, ABC, CBS, The Huffington Post and many others of our liberal friends in the media--

[Old Sarge]

Bender mah man, didn’t you hear the whole story?

Obama not only personally led the mission, but he:

* piloted the lead helicopter flying VFR in total darkness;

* put the bird on whisper-mode autohover;

* Australian-rapelled into the courtyard with a crew-served weapon in each hand;

* stopped a three-round burst with his sculpted abs;

* kicked down every door with a head butt;

* took out Bin Laden with a double-tap of .50 cal hollow-point tracer rounds; AND

* recorded the whole event with a camcorder strapped to his schlong!