[tumblindice]

(AP) Depressed over Chick-fil-A's position, rumors of Ernie's dalliances with Elmo and other personal issues, Bert hanged himself today.

[dfwgator]

Yep, Bert just couldn’t handle it, since Ernie told Rubber Ducky that he was “the one.”

[Twinkie]

Gee. . and PEDOPHILIA, too, since Elmo is only four years old. Disgusting! No wonder Bert hanged himself. :o)